Open Road – DivX Version (Normal Quality), iPod/iPhone Version
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IMDB rating: 4.40 Plot: During a trip to visit his younger brother in prison, Ben stops at a roadside bar to collect himself. This is where he meets Sara, who has been frequenting the same roadside bar ever since she lost her license, job and custody of her five year old son. Ben and Sara have an instant connection that causes them to embark on a cross country journey on Ben’s motorcycle. They have no destination but ultimately help themselves revisit their past in order to move into the future. |
Available versions:
DivX Version (Normal Quality), iPod/iPhone Version
Actors: Drama
a pagan goes to hell?
A Pagan dies and, to his great surprise, he finds himself standing before some pearly gates. The Pagan asks, "Where am I?"
Peter says, "You’re at the gates of heaven."
The Pagan says, "But I don’t believe in heaven."
Peter frowns at him. "You’re one of those Pagans, aren’t you?"
"Yes. I believe I’m in the wrong place; I’m supposed to go to Summerland."
Peter says, "Sorry. We took over Summerland, and it’s temporarily closed for remodeling."
"What should I do now?"
Peter says, "Well, since we don’t allow Pagans in heaven, you have to go to hell. Sorry. Just follow that path that leads downward and to the left."
The Pagan walks down to hell, where the gates are standing open. He walks in and finds beautiful meadows, happy animals, and clear streams of water.
He walks on in and begins exploring, and after a few minutes a courtly gentleman walks up to him and bows politely. "Hello, I’m Satan. You must be the guy that St. Peter phoned me about. Are you a Pagan?"
"Yes, I am. What’s going to happen now?"
Satan says, "Well, the fishing’s pretty good, if you enjoy that sort of thing. There’s a little refreshment stand down the road. And I believe the Pagan meeting grounds are right over the next hill."
Suddenly, a hole opens up in the sky above, and a yawning chasm opens directly underneath it. The stench of sulfur fills the air. Hundreds of screaming, tortured souls drop down into the flaming pit, which immediately closes up with a thud.
The Pagan, hardly believing what he just saw, asks Satan, "And what was THAT ???"
Satan rolls his eyes. "Oh, just ignore them. They’re Christians; they wouldn’t have it any other way."
LOL
Thanks for the laugh! XD
RandomFreak | Nov 14, 2009
Clever, but it’d be funnier if Satan reffered to St. Peter less formally.
… | Nov 14, 2009
I liiike it.
Susan B | Nov 14, 2009
Very interesting. I must cogitate on that for a while.
edit
As is often the case, what Lord Sesshomaru said cannot be improved on by us others.
?Machine Head? | Nov 14, 2009
Stories of the Pearly Gate and St. Peter greeting you there are, more in likely, fabrications about Heaven. That was a huge fabrication of Hell right there to. I think Hell was closed for remodeling some time there if that is what Hell is like.
Well Glory Be! | Nov 14, 2009
So funny and true.
Cody | Nov 14, 2009
LOL OMG too funny love it!
Amethyst Moon | Nov 14, 2009
Being an atheist, I have no sense of right or wrong, so I’m going to steal that joke and call it my own…thanks.
Abc | Nov 14, 2009
Lol, that is a good one, and I am a Christian, but I do not expect to hear that ‘thud.’ Lol!
Melchizedek | Nov 14, 2009
Rev…
Many posters would decry your usage of this "Matrix" as a Comedy Forum.
I, as you know, are not one of them. Keep up the good work. This sorry planet needs every smile we can bestow upon it!
Lord Sesshomaru ????? | Nov 14, 2009
Now that was f*ckin funny!
Hey Rev, we’re pretty hated around here lately. It’s good isn’t it?
Man I get satisfaction out of rubbing these buttworms up the wrong way.
Punky (Ineffable) | Nov 14, 2009
lmfao! Many a truth is spoken in jest!
leviathan74666 | Nov 14, 2009
